I have been doing some serious questioning lately.
What in the world is going on? Where is God leading Andy and me? Andy really articulates it better than I do: "God is asking us to drop everything and go." And He has been trying to get through to us for....oh, I don't even know how long. About a year?
But our culture does not get this; you graduate from high school, you go to college, you FINISH college, then you get a job. Our culture does not understand, "well, this is what we feel like we need to do." Even our church body does not understand this.
We are all so prideful. I am so prideful. We fear being radical. We are afraid society, our friends, our family, will find out that we truly believe God moves and speaks now, not just 2,000 years ago. And but "we," I mean myself. I do these things.
What is Christianity after all? Is it going to a Christian church on Sunday? Is it believing in God, believing Jesus lived and was our Savior? Or is more than this? Is it not believing what the Bible, what Jesus said? I believe these things, I want to live these things. Again and again, Jesus explained the cost of following him; in our arrogance, we have decided to believe it in our minds, but not allow our hearts to understand. I committed myself to a life of following this crazy radical Jesus (for radical he was). I am a new creation in Christ. Every day, I should be dying to myself, my arrogance. And picking up that cross.
So God tells us to go, we go. Period. If that means quitting school with a year left, I want to do it. My heart will break in the process, but I pray that I will always desire a willingness to be broken for God. You can actively pursue Jesus here, in America, going to college. But if God tells you to go, that's it. Obedience or disobedience.
So what IS going on? Where is God sending us?
We know we are going, we know why (Jesus kinda had this thing about feeding and caring for the orphans, widows, and hungry, who knew?). Now we want to know where and how. That is where we're at. And it is frustrating. I. am. frustrated. I am trying not to allow myself to feel like life is on hold, because this is when we prepare. This is when we dive into the word of God, into relationships that are life-breathing, into training that is spirit-filled. So this is not waiting it is preparing.
In this season, I want to invest in people. I want to meet needs here, in this land of broken, empty people. Because that is how I see America, that is what America has come to.
So what can I do for you?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
keep writing! it is inspiring and encouraging and I need more blogs to feed my selfish little god-loving soul :). thanks for letting me in. i am struggling with similar trials of obedience right now. Although I desperately want to just PICK UP and GOOO. I feel like school and work are major barriers to serving CHRIST the way that he seems to be pulling me. I have taken on the perspective that he is only preparing me for what is to come but I seriously have no idea when or how or why. I know why. To give all GLORY to CHRIST and make my life the beautiful sacrifice of serving him :). But i dont know when. I am a fulltime student. work at the bank and have a 5000 dollar car loan to pay off. how in the world could I EVER find the time to serve?? i feel like i am so locked down to what the world HAS CALLED me to do that I am unable to do what GOD is calling me to do nor hear what he is saying clearly. ughhh
ReplyDeletewaiting and preparing for the lords plans of hope and a future sometimes feels like a cop-out though. i don't know. just a thought
♥cheche